On life getting in the way

Yes well, I would love to say I have been on some lavish holiday somewhere getting a tan and consuming my body weight in cocktails, alas, I have just been trudging on as we do. In true lazy spirits I am going to resort to bullet points 🙂

  • I have, as of this week, gone back to gym. When I weighed myself I felt as though I had been winded so it is time.
  • Gym is HARD when you haven’t been for almost a year.
  • I cannot believe at 10 weeks, our baby bug weighs a whopping 6.2kgs 😮
  • Our current living arrangement is tough, our intentions were good, still are, but shoowee at times I regret this move so much I could cry.
  • I was on Espirie to help me with milk production, I say was because I read the prescribing information and promptly stopped taking them, that and they were making me put on weight.
  • As a result I believe we are close to the end of our breastfeeding adventure. I would have liked to breastfeed longer but refuse to take anti psychotic mediction that affects my sleep, weight and moods to do it.
  • My health is important. No unhealthy person can raise kids. Thus my health matters more than breastfeeding right now. Clearly she is is no danger of starving so I refuse to worry too much about this.
  • The toddler is at a very interesting age. Everything is look here Mommy, mine, give me and hey. He is however still incredibly sweet and I am totally loving the time at home with him.
  • I feel really out of the loop lately. I hardly go on Twitter or Facebook and seldom leave the house. I think I am just appreciating the time I have at home while I still have it. Returning to work looms in the not too distant future and I know that is going to be hard.
  • Our nanny is going on leave for three weeks starting today. I am under no false pretense that I will manage four kids and housework on my own, so we have a stand in. I think Squish may die a little, he does love Annie so very much.
  • I think somwhere along the line over the last year I did a big load of growing up. My sister phoned yesterday and asked if she could have the three bigger kids for a visit on Saturday, and I said yes. I said yes because life is too short to fight and be nasty. I still think she owes me an apology, I am in no way making what she did ok, but I won’t fight with her anymore. Also, my kids love her and so I would be putting them in the middle of something that really isn’t about them if I were to fight.
  • A few interesting new developments are about to start in my life, good ones I am sure and a nice challenge which I really need right now
  • D is busy with something that could well change many things in our life, for now I remain optimistic and just hope, for so many reasons he gets it right.
  • Selfish behavior is soul destroying, I see this more every day.

So that’s my story for this cold and cloudy day, more next time 🙂

Welcoming our Baby Bug to the world

My darling Kyra, this is how Mommy remembers the day you were born.

On Friday the 13th of January I spent my day packing the last of what I would need for the hospital, spending time with my kids and trying to get my rest knowing that we would be welcoming our new baby girl in the morning. As I am an anxious person by nature very little in the lines of relaxation happened.  I was just way too excited to meet my little girl and more than a little nervous for the surgery I would need to have due to risk factors the doctor had mentioned.

Bright and early on the morning of Saturday the 14th Daddy and I got up and began getting ready to head off to the hospital. I can clearly remember the grin on Dad’s face when he told me, ” Its today” We got into the car while the sun was still low on the horizon and in tht quiet little drive between home and the hospital Daddy and I held hands and quietly got ready to meet you, our precious little girl we had been waiting so long for.  Once at the hospital Dad helped me out of the car and we went upstairs together to meet Dr Mia.

Once inside things went a little crazy, Dad went off to sign me in and I was asked to change into a hospital gown right away. All at once I felt very overwhelmed and cried a little by myself. Once Daddy was back and I was changed I was given my pre theatre medication and put on a gurney ready to be taken downstairs to theatre. On our way out of the room Uncle Brendan and Granny C were there to say hello, also eager to meet our little girl 🙂 I was wheeled into theatre, where I met Dr Govender, the aneathetist. What a phenomenal doctor he was.  He explained everything really well and before I knew it I was perched on the edge of the bed ready for my spinal. As I lay down and the all familiar feeling of warmth took over my body, I shed another little tear, this time in sheer anticipation of your arrival.

Daddy and Granny B joined me int the theatre and Daddy held my hand really tight as Dr Mia began the task of delivering you. Then at a quarter past eight, after a little pushing and tugging, you arrived with a little moan to be met by your Daddy’s arms and his wet face. You were weighed and Daddy cut your cord, your Apgar was good and then Granny B exclaimed that you had Dad’s chin. Then they brought you over to me and I got to kiss your perfect little face. Tears flowed now as I took in your rosebud mouth just above what is no doubt your Daddy’s chin in miniature and your big, deep blue eyes. Dad looked at me and told me we did good, I could only nod in agreement.

Then when your paediatrician, Dr Pitso, had a look at you, she decided your breathing was not so good so they rushed you up to NICU, I insisted Daddy go with you and leave me to get finished in theatre. I was scared for you but was told you would be just fine and that you just needed a little TLC. I wished I could go with you but it just wasn’t possible.

Once back in our room I tried to rest but kept sending everyone for reports on how you were doing and from around two o’clock I kept asking to get up to go and see you. The nurses relented at four o’clock and helped me into a wheel chair to the NICU where you were front and centre in an incubator, with the full attention of the staff. Then they detached the pipes and let Mommy hold you. Once on my chest, your oxygen levels went right up, your heartrate stabilised and your breathing was perfect, seems you just wanted Mommy 🙂

An hour or so after I held you, you were brought down to me. I spent the next few hours staring in wonder at your perfect little self. When your brothers and sister came to meet you the next day they were all as awed as we were by you and I knew, for a certainty, our family was now complete.

Daddy and I dreamed of you before we planned you and waited what felt like a lifetime for you to come along. I want you to always remember you are here because we love each other and we love you so very much, just as we do your brothers and sister. Welcome to the world my darling Kyra, I cannot wait to share this life with you.

Mommy xxx