Rounding up 2011

Since today is FINALLY my last working day for the year, I thought I would borrow this idea.  I have seen it on a couple of blogs but forgive me as I am too lazy to link back right now.

Without further ado…

1.      What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

I am not sure there is anything actually, oh wait, I was *thrilled* when I saw two lines on a pregnancy test for the first time ever J

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?

I don’t make them


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not that I recall offhand no


4. Did anyone close to you die?

My oldest friend’s grandmother died, I had know her for twenty years and it was very sad


5. What countries did you visit?

I stayed in South Africa, worse still did not even leave Joburg


6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

A drama free existence and job satisfaction


7. What date, from 2011, will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

16 June 2011, the day we found out #BabyNB is on her way


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I don’t think there was anything big or fantastic I think my biggest achievement is all the little things we managed.  We got two kids through their perspective years at school, we managed our home and still love each other enough to do it again next year.  Considering how many people broke up or got divorced this year, I think it’s a big achievement.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I don’t think I truly failed at anything.  There is a lot I could have done better, but no actual failure as far as I am concerned.


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I had morning sickness I believed would kill me :p  I truly did have a bad year health wise, I had flu more times than I could count, a bladder infection and many pregnancy related aches and pains.  I am hoping next year my body will play nice.


11. What was the best thing you bought?

We bought the kids a Wii for Christmas, I cannot wait to see their faces when they open it!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

D deserves a merit badge for living with me through this pregnancy.  I have been tired and moody and all around difficult and somehow he still loves me and doesn’t lose his temper though the eye rolling did get a bit much :p  Also my kids for taking all the drama we have had in our lives in their strides. 

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

My sister and the ex tenant who shall remain unnamed.  Both proved just how badly things can go wrong when you try to help someone.  Neither are a part of our lives as a result and I already feel much calmer for it.


14. Where did most of your money go?

Food, petrol, school fees, nanny, pet food, MEDICAL BILLS


15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

First planning our wedding, which was then put on hold when we found out we’re having a baby

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Sexy and I know it by LMFAO, D, the kids and so many friends have created so many laughs around this song this year.  This song reminds me of all the good we got out of this year, all the happy and reminds me that fun matters.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder? Without a doubt happier
Thinner or fatter? Much much fatter :p
Richer or poorer? Neither, we are managing as we always have


18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had spent more time being silly with my kids


19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I had stressed less, been moody less and just generally been nicer


20. How will you be spending Christmas?

At home with my family


21. How will you be spending New Year?

I’ll be 36 weeks pregnant, will likely have dinner with my family and be asleep before 10 lol


22. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Only with D and the kids, over and over.


23. How many one-night stands?

Do sexy hormone induced dreams count?  If not none :p


24. What was your favourite TV programme ?

 Modern Family, Big Bang Theory, Jerseylicious (guilty pleasure)


25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

My sister and the ex tenant


26. What was the best book you read?

I really enjoyed Killing Kebble by Mandy Weiner


27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I have become totally and wholly obsessed with The Script and Adelle, this is not happy music but the thing I am most likely to be listening to if I have earphones in


28. What did you want and get?

Love, in such abundance that it is often overwhelming.  Recognition at work, after a really tough year, at my year end review, for the first time, I was actually praised for the job I do.

29. What did you want and not get?

A wedding :p  The thing being put on hold while I finish cooking #BabyNB


30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I can’t think of one that stands out


31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
For my 26th birthday as so many before, I just pretended it was not happening.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not being taken advantage of in such an ugly way by someone I believed was a friend.


33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Hard to even consider a time when I could wear normal clothes, for the last few months its been a matter of whatever fits over my ever growing belly.


34. What kept you sane?

D, my kids, my friends, the internet, music


35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

In my ideal situation I would be the filling in a Bradley Cooper and Ryan Reynolds sandwhich 😀


36. Who did you miss?

I always miss my dad and I missed people in Cape Town, my sister, my friend Ilse and a few others who were so much a part of my life when I was there


37. Who was the best new person you met?

I could never choose just one person because I have met so many wonderful people this year.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

Just because you do something with good intentions it does not mean it is the right thing.  Know when to say no and who to put first.  Never again put helping a ‘friend’ ahead of your own happiness.

39. Quote that sums up your year.

“Be who you are and say what you feel because who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”  Dr Seuss




Almost that time

In a month I will be a week away from having my last baby (if she waits till 39 weeks that is)  I am so excited, partly to not be pregnant anymore but more so to meet this little girl who hides her face during scans and moves away from the Doppler at *every* appointment.  I wonder who she’ll look like considering my hazel eyes and dark hair and D’s blue eyes and blonde hair.  I am however also nervous.  I think nerves are normal, I was nervous before the birth of each one of my other babies.  I find myself questioning my own ability to be a good mom to another person.  I wonder if I have enough love to go around.  I am a little worried about how the other kids will adapt.  There is no doubt in my mind that things will be just fine and that we all love each other enough to make the transition but for now the nerves are preventing me taking the idea for granted.


Part of what is making me nervous I think is the fact that this pregnancy has proved to me is a big way that no two pregnancies are ever the same the same way no two children are.  I have had three totally unique parenting journeys with my children and I find myself wondering what the next journey holds in store for me.


My first born, Monster, my honest first love.  He arrived six weeks early a few months before my 17th birthday and I believe to my very core, he saved my life, he gave me a reason to keep going when I would rather have given up.  Our journey has been marred by so many bad things, and abusive boyfriend/father who chose drugs and alcohol over us at every turn, my own immaturity and inability often to do the right thing, bad people, bad experiences and a whole lot of curve balls.  This is why he and I have such a unique bond.  I can read this kid like an open book, he can’t lie to me, just like I can’t lie to him.  From the youngest age he always knew when I was down, he would come and sit right up against me and just be there, like he knew I needed him at that moment.  He is such an old soul and is genuinely very generous with his time and his kindness.  He has developed a hell of a naughty streak but it reminds me he is just a kid.  He was a very sick baby and spent a lot of time in hospital.  To this day I do not know how I survived my matric year, I had a sick baby constantly in and out of hospital, an abusive arse of a boyfriend who picked fights constantly, I wasn’t living at home, I got zero help with baby in the hours I was not at school and I somehow managed three distinctions.  This parenting journey has more than anything else in my life, made me who I am today.  This beautiful blonde haired and blue eyed, sensitive, charming, mischievous, loud, busy and rambunctious boy will always be my first love.


Princess happened into the world some 26 months after Monster.  Unplanned but so destined to be.  The only one of my children who bears any real physical resemblance to me and oh gracious how I wish that was where the similarity ended.  This child is me in miniature.  We look alike, are the same star sign, think alike, over react alike, sulk alike etc ad nauseam.  See the problem?  This little person has been a supreme challenge to me in so many ways, she never needed me like Monster did.  She was not a cuddly baby.  She walked early, talked early and very much from the get go was her own person on her own schedule.  Even today you need to be able to communicate with her on her level if you expect any of what you are saying to get through.  Most days, I am the only person who can get through that façade.  Some days even I fail.  She has a quick mind and the most sensational sense of humour with this ability to amuse herself for hours.  She loves fiercely and is very protective of her stuff and her space, as most cancerians are.  She is a top notch drama queen and does not take kindly to being ignored, known for her epic, and I do mean epic, tantrums and her ability to totally zone out when sulking, she is not one you enter into confrontation with lightly.  At the same time she is so incredibly sweet and helpful and her teacher raves about her kindness.  I do only wish that would extend to her brothers sometimes.  Our journey is one coloured with many giggles and cuddles and also screaming matches and sulk fests.  I know this will only get harder as she gets older but I look forward to watching this elf of a little girl who is all arms and legs grow into the wonderful young woman I know she is going to be.


Little Squishy arrived five years after his sister.  I will admit to having made an appointment at Marie Stopes to terminate this pregnancy.  I will admit to spending every night for two weeks in a snot puddle on my bathroom floor agonizing over the impending arrival of this baby.  I will admit that deciding to keep him once I saw his little heart beat was the single easiest decision I ever made.  I had not planned on falling pregnant, I did not want any more kids but this little boy has given me so much that I honestly truly believe everything does in fact happen for a reason.  He is ultimately what brought D and I together and cemented our little family.  He is the single easiest and most pleasant toddler I have ever come across.  He is happy and friendly and smily and sunshiny all the time and my heart bursts with love when we get home in the evenings to him standing at the window watching and waiting for us.  He has never been demanding or difficult but manages to set the tone in our house.  His older siblings adore him and when they are around his giggles are heard reverberating through our home.  His nanny swears he is an angel and not a two year old and he has her wrapped around his little finger.  Very much Daddy’s boy and generally I don’t play too much of a part in his reality unless he’s hungry or not feeling well.  He has taught me that just when you think you have nothing left to give, something, or in my case someone, will happen to prove to you just how wrong you really are.


I can’t help but wonder what challenges lie ahead as my baby daughter enters our lives and our family.  I cannot wait to watch another personality unfold in front of me and I am so super excited to see D’s face when he looks at his little girl for the first time.  Pregnancy tends to make me nostalgic and I am sad that neither of our fathers will be here to meet our little bundle but I do not doubt she is entering the world surrounded by love and many eager hands to hold her through her journey through life.  In just 37 days we meet the final addition to our family and I can’t wait.