There comes a moment in life where you are forced to stop and take stock of what really matters to you as a person. Whether the person you are is part of something else or not, at some juncture it really is just about you.
My life has been anything and everything but settled of late. We were planning our wedding blissfully and totally unaware that life had other plans. On 16 June, after having been feeling ‘off’ for almost two weeks I decided to do a home pregnancy test to exclude pregnancy as the cause for my not feeling great. A funny thing happened though, the test was positive. I sent D off to the pharmacy to get three more tests in different brands and lo and behold each one of those was positive too. I gave myself a moment to grasp what was happening. After firmly believing something was wrong with me, we were expecting the baby we have so wanted for the last year. YAY!!! Much joy and elation in our little family.
Now as an aside. Yes we have three kids. None of which are D’s biologically. He is however the best father in the world to the three kids we have. I only wanted a fourth child because this man who I adore deserves his own biological child. We are not rich in terms of material possessions but we have love in abundance. We have what we need even if it is not always what we want. Our kids are well mannered, well adjusted and humble for not having been spoiled. So this is me telling those who feel they have a right to judge my choices to go to hell. Unless or until you pay my bills or are asked to support my children in any way shape or form, fuck off. That is all.
So the wedding will again be moved, bare with me folks I will eventually be married one day;p D has started a new job at a corporate company and in his first month hit 180% of his sales target this equates to quite a substantial rise in income for him. I am incredibly proud of him and very grateful to have the old D back. The ambitious and driven person I initially fell in love with Maybe its the pregnancy hormones speaking but I am kinda really loving this man right now.
Our baby is due on 27 January 2012 so our c section will likely happen a week before that, before the happy clappers jump on my head about the beauty of natural birth, just know I am having the c section because I have to and would sooner have natural if it were medically possible. We are not leaning toward any gender and would honestly just like a healthy baby.
Work continues to suck as much as it ever has. My mother continues to make me wonder if perhaps I was adopted and the kids are just growing up too damned fast for my liking.
Life keeps moving and despite the fact that people who judge, people who preach and people who are inexplicably stupid leave me questioning the future of the human race, where I am, where only I matter, life is great. I am beyond happy and cannot wait to conclude our family with our last edition come January