I am not sure that I have at any time in my life just given people hero status all willy nilly.
I’m not sure that I have ever had a hero at all.
The closest thing to it, is my Dad’s story.
He was an alcolholic. Many times when faced with the choice he chose the alcolhol over his family. He was a crap husband and a pretty lousy human being but he was a great Dad to me.
He died before I was really old enough to know him as an adult and that is something I am grateful for, i get to remember his as my Dad, rather than as the real person he was.
He drank himself to death eventually, and in doing so let me down in a big way. I have paid for being his favourite every day that he has been gone and many times when I am at rock bottom I get angry at him for leaving me bcause without him i don’t have anyone on my side.
It always comes down to my side or my mother’s, the siblings always go with my mom, I am always backed into a corner fighting for myself with no one to help.
In these moments I can’t help but wonder why or what if?